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Monday, November 28, 2011

Jits

My Christmas lights are freshly strung up, I just made a grand return to the free-weight section of my gym, I have a beer in my Hofbrauhaus stein, and I'm hopped up on some major yogaphetamines. It is definitely time to get writing about the next great endeavor.

Drum roll please. It is a sport that needs no introduction. It is a sport and an art developed in the beautiful country of Brazil but derived from a predecessor in Japan. The most reliable encyclopedic website on the internet (and ever known to mankind) describes it as, "a martial art, a combat sport, and a self defense system that focuses on grappling, especially ground fighting." The scholarly article continues, "It teaches that a smaller, weaker person can successfully defend against a bigger, stronger assailant by using leverage and proper technique- most notably by applying joint-locks and choke holds to defeat the other person."


That hobby/sport/fighting style/way of life is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, BJJ, JITS. The sport of grappling with other people that ends in one of two ways - tap out or pass out. No punching, no kicking, no biting, just good old fashioned strangling and joint breaking. Sounds wonderful. Why am I doing this?

Fine Grandpa we can go to Red Lobster at 4! Geeeez

Learning to fight increases safety: Although hand to hand combat has not been a totally relevant skill since the invention of the pointy stick, you've got a drop on bad guys if you ever find yourself in a mugging/a-hole situation. BJJ is not about seeing who can put whom on his back or get the throw, it's about putting someone in the hospital or making them quit.

Low(er) risk of injury than other styles: There will be days when I get home from the gym and feel like doodoo because I either pushed too hard or got my butt kicked over and over. But when compared to sports like MMA or Muay Thai kickboxing, BJJ is well controlled. Just tap and you're no longer at risk.

Cardio and resistance at the same time: Aside from kickbox sparring, I have never been more tired in my life than when I was fighting to keep my arm from getting broken off or my windpipe from getting closed shut. On the mat you are constantly totally occupied, mentally and physically... Like CrossFit if the kettlebells and barbell were trying to kill you.

Kicking butt is confidence: When you tap 50 times, you've got 50 mistakes to learn from and are a better person for it. When you make 50 people tap, you'll have some major mojo outside of the dojo.

Awesome gear: Nothing looks more studly than wearing a kimono with a colored belt that tells people how far you've progressed with your fighting style. NOT. I can't stand wearing a gi. I understand that the pure form of the sport demands it but chances are the fighters would look better in something other than geisha garb.


Anyway, I'm just dipping my toe to begin with. If it works out, I'll keep with it. Motivation, improvement, and injury avoidance will be key factors. You'll get updates.

Keep training,
LSF

PS: If you got all the way through that Ace Ventura 2 clip then BJJ is the sport for YOU. I know for a fact that there is no hold in the world that will make you tap out.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Should You Marathon?

I didn't just run the marathon to run a marathon. It was an experience I'll remember with pride for my entire life, not even sarcastic. I now understand the hardships, joy, and culture that surround this freakish sporting event and can recommend it or not to friends and future clients. So you, dear reader, are about to get the lowdown on something you may be considering in your future. The following are pros and cons of training for and running a full marathon based on the assumption that you are not increasing your workout time:

Physical:

+Athletic and Aesthetic:  From the waist down, you are going to look great. I don't care how slow your metabolism is, you can't eat enough to keep the pounds on when running 40+ miles per week. Dudes and dudettes, I hate to set a double standard but women are going to love the results on themselves a lot more than men.

-String Bean Arms:  Bros, it's going to happen if you sacrifice time with the free-weights to go running. I lifted a couple of times a week for the first couple of months but the road eventually catches up to the bis and tris. I maintained some good definition in my biceps, back, and shoulders from keeping my arms up for hours at a time.

+Good Hurt:  Like any kind of workout. Your legs let your muscles know when you pushed yourself. On a 3 month timeline this rarely happened to me because I was cautiously avoiding...

-Bad Hurt:  When you pushed bones, ligaments, and tendons too hard. A little pain turns into more pain turns into an injury. When you run 3 miles further than you've ever run in your life, it's going to shock the system. 

Mental:

+/-Confidence:  Setting the elusive PR (personal record, not Puerto Rico) is what every runner seeks to do. Knowing that you haven't peaked just yet is a great confidence boost. At the same time, there is ALWAYS somebody better than you. Maybe somebody smaller, older, heavier. He or she is out there and will smoke you. Hey at least your butt looks TOIGHT.

-Too Repetitive:  A lot of non-runners get caught up in this. I don't get bored on new roads, I kinda get bored on routes I've run 10 times, and I 700% get bored on a treadmill, even with WWE Monday Night RAW on a TV screen in front of me. Music, Podcasts or audio books help a lot of people.

Social:

+Friendly Folks:  It's a supportive, friendly community out there. People are humble, welcoming, and congratulatory when you accomplish your goals and they're sympathetic when you don't. I joined a social networking website to log my miles and people randomly friended me and congratulated me on good runs. No agenda, just super nice people. PS: Dailymile.com is a great place to log miles regardless of the social aspect.

+Easy-ish On The Wallet:  You'll go through a pair of shoes in just a couple of months. You'll spend some money on non-chafing shirts and skivvies, a GPS, a heart-rate monitor, cold weather gear, race registrations, a water bottle holder and maybe some mid-run nutrition or club fees. However, you're not paying for any rentals, pads, balls/pucks, mats, greens fees, or lift-tickets.

+Year Round Season:  If you're tough and get some non-slip kicks or live south of the Mason-Dixon.

+Solo:  You don't need other people to play but it's nice when you do.

+/-Spectator Sport:  How many people do you know tuned in to any fast paced, nail biting, edge of your seat marathons this year? I think I watched the NYC Marathon for about 10 minutes and switched it to football. Remember that repetitive thing I mentioned? Howeverrrrrr, I did use my lunch break during the Boston Marathon to see a buddy (and 2000 other people) pass. Everyone was having a blast. I intend to do it right and take the day off work to optimize my cheering this coming year. The marathon is a city-wide party in most places.

Bottom-line:

Ladies, absolutely go for it.

Gentlemen, I'm glad I did it. Going for it once was a great goal. I will probably continue to run 5Ks to continue the social and fitness aspects and this I recommend 100% for both genders. Really though guys, there is a "Je ne sais quois" aspect of marathoning that can be best explained in pictures. At the end of the day, who would you rather be?


vs. 


I'm giving Jiu Jitsu another shot this month. More on that later.

Keep training,
LSF




Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thermopgypsy


If you like parking your caravan in smelly, muddy, cold, steamy wide open places then Thermopyles is the vacation destination of a lifetime!

Our gorgeous hot springs are a mecca to hobos, gypsies, and truck drivers. If you're only showering once this year, do it at Thermopyles. You may be concerned by all the dog doodoo in the area but don't worry the sulphuric smell hides all other scents. Showers aren't your thing? Just camp near the springs and you don't have to worry about that embarrassing body odor. Imagine that. A strong egg smell every single day. Who doesn't love omelettes?

Can't afford electricity? Just power your vehicle with diesel and feel free to leave the can in the bushes. Nobody will notice! Tired of emptying your septic tank? Just go outside! We have acres upon acres that are ready to do your dirty work!

Still not convinced? Thermopyles is perfect for dog lovers! We've got big dogs, little dogs, old dogs, young dogs, unhealthy dogs, sick dogs, sicker dogs. They even have starving dogs and the best part, wait for it... None of them have owners so they can be yours Yours YOURS for the low low price of absolutely nothing!

So come on down to Thermopyles and live out your gypsy dreams!!

Buuut seriously, it smelled like Bigfoot's big feet, the dogs were depressing, and the thought of getting murdered, kidnapped, or raped by gypsies struck genuine fear in my heart several times. I then found the monument, museum, and former Greek campsite. I'm going to bypass Delphi to walk the Ephialtes Trail at tomorrow. Psyched.

Greek Mythology

I was driving out of Piraeus today in another mini European vehicle at approximately as fast as it can go when I saw it. Boards. Kite boards, windsurf boards, snowboards and... Em. Effing. SURFBOARDS!!! It was like when Santa met the M&Ms before he passed out, "They DO exist!"

A few days ago, before I came to Piraeus, I had my hotel staff in Santorini look into surfboard rentals on the Attican peninsula where Athens, Piraeus, and a popular surf spot called Vouliagmeni are located. Their final answer was that there were many shops but all closed for the winter. Confirmed.

Obviously some place in Piraeus slipped through Google's cracks. I saw the shop, slammed on the breaks and parked at a bus stop. Just maverick Greek driving moves all over the place.

"You guys have surfboards?"
"Of course." The go-to Greek answer when there is probable doubt.
"SURF boards. Not windsurf boards."
"Oh, yes. We have those."
"For rent?"
"No, I am sorry we cannot afford to do that. We do not have the conditions here."
"Is there anywhere on the peninsula that is open now that rents boards?"
"No. Nobody does that."

Confirmed.

Got me a Paros Surf Club tee to commemorate the search. I looked up the PSS online and it is also a windsurfing only establishment. I don't think I can wear it in good conscience. Comments section time: Big time poser move or at least you've been to Paros. Keep the gloves up, tryna keep it clean.

Update: I can't even figure out what "Local 4.7" means. Wearing this would be the dastardliest of deeds.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Surf Crete

I will say this definitively, authoritatively, decisively, Ah-heh-heh-HEM: there is no surfing on Crete in the month of November. To be clear, there is as much surfing on Crete in November as there is crying in baseball. Which is none. I scanned 200km+ (or about 5-10 miles I think) of beach today and did not see a single person on, with, or who has ever heard of a surf board.

That last part was an exaggeration. Cretans 100% know what a wind-surf board is. Got gales galore up in here. If you don't specify "just plain" surfboard, people will tell you it's a great day for surfing because of the wind. I talked to about 2 dozen people over those 200km, all of whom looked at me like I was a crazy person. Maybe I am. I tried to see things from their points of view. What would it be like in the US if someone rolled up on my shop/restaurant/bar/gas station and asked about an uncommon sport with a close and much more prevalent partner sport? Idunno, is that unicycling?

"Uhh really? You came across the Atlantic to do some awesome unicycling? Well since you're here, lost I guess I'll help you out. I have seen some people who do that in the next town over at 3PM when conditions are good. Are you sure you didn't mean bicycling? A lot more people do that here but they do it when it's warm. Its really not in season now. Say, did you check the Internet?"

This last part killed me. Did I check the Internet? They must have changed the name of this country to Freece because I was talking to a bunch of Freeks. I checked the internet so hard I referenced posts from 2004. And it said to go check your town. Here I am. I guess they haven't given much consideration to the I-just-came-here-for-the-marathon-and-thought-i'd-see-if-there's-any-surfing-during-the-winter demographic. It's a key market.

Anyway, the only surfing here in the off-season is done by locals who already own boards. None of whom were out today. However there ARE a ton of awesome roads that go absolutely nowhere and provide views that combined the terrain of the helicopter scene in Jurassic Park with the fauna in the Sicily scenes in the Godfather. Loved it. Also, driving in Europe is carte blanche to drive like an a-hole. Loved it. My seafoam green Hyundai Micro Machine and I blended right in with the Freeks.

Keep training,
LSF

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

5 Reasons Why I Loved Athens

First off, thanks to everyone for the congratulatory messages. I appreciate the recognition. Thanks especially to DD and SN for your direct support along the way. Whether driving me to my starting points, offering great advice or letting me borrow some gear, it would have been a much worse experience without you. Let me know how I can return the favors.

Exploring Athens has been a good time. Initial observations (if you hate travel blogs, stop reading):

1) It's not totally safe. I'm staying in an immigrant neighborhood and the lines to the soup kitchen are out the door by 8AM, you don't see women out after dark, cab drivers lock their doors, I've heard stories of gunshots (not that I've heard any myself), its easy to get lost, and tonight saw a guy cuffed, getting escorted back to the police station which isn't far away. Even though I'm not staying in a tourist area, I'd like to think the rest of the city isn't like this, but I can't speak for other neighborhoods. There is very little swanky area in downtown Athens.

2) The Acropolis is incredible. The size of the Parthenon (the hugantuan temple with columns) and view from the hill is comparable to the views from Sugarloaf or Cristo Redento in Rio de Janeiro. This alone is almost worth the trip. PS: They just built a new museum to augment the Acropolis experience. I don't like visiting ruins because it involves so much imagination which I can use home. However, they show the glory of the monument with what remains. Mad sculptures of Greek history and mythology.

3) Cryptograms are everywhere. Translating Greek is a culminating event for every language I've studied. I've just about got the alphabet down and can translate words like "write" (graph), "people" (anthro..), "child" (pedi... easy now) which have close English parallels. Just looked up parallel: παράλληλο (parallelo). Easy peasy.


4) The riot threat level is still at red. The picture I posted on FB of runners waiting on buses is exactly where the action went down. Guards are still standing outside the capital with their gear on, tear gas canisters clipped onto their kit, carrying shields, batons, and pistols. They're big dudes and ready to bash some heads but you can tell they are sick of being there. They have buses as  mobile armories. They are caged in and with additional gear strung up in case the situation gets worse. I took a picture and nearly had my phone ganked. The fact that I'm American and that the picture didn't show much got me off the hook. 


5) The Greeks stink at English. I was 100% expecting this until an Aussie on my flight from Rome who looked exactly like Drew Carey told me that 85% of Greeks speak English. He did not mention that all they can say is "Okaeye" and "Khan ah hailp yeww?" Either way, their English > my Greek. So good on 'em.

I'm flying to Crete tomorrow morning to see what's going on in the surfing world. It's the Mediterranean so I'm not expecting huge waves. The off-season just started so I'm expecting very few open hotels and surf shops. The internet, locals, and travel agencies are all giving me different answers so I'm getting boots on the ground on the Greek islands to see what I can see and catch ferries as I need to. If anyone in cyberland knows anything about surfing Greece, get at me.

This is officially the start of a hiatus on fitness/working out. I know you all stay at home updating

Keep training,
LSF

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Marathon Results

I crossed the finish line today. Left it all on the road. Heart of a champion, legs of a virgin marathon runner. I passed like 2,000 people, at least. Owned the uphills. Took some pictures. Finished with glory. Went to get my space blanket. Keep me warm -- fail. Flap around in the wind, hit me in the face, and keep me from seeing things -- win.

I wasn't real happy crossing the finish line because I thought my GPS was a liar. I was ready to throw it over the bow of the Titanic like Kate Winslett. There's really no better way to get rid of something than the Titanic Toss. Screw my husband I am done with this marriage: ring over the bow of the Titanic. I don't need a college degree!: crumpled final exam over the bow of the Titanic. I am done with this hamburger!!!: wrapper over the bow of the Titanic. Try to argue, impossible. The final time on my GPS read 3:45. Exactly my Objective goal. I don't think I published this so let's review:

Threshhold: 4:00. Achieve this to avoid scrub status.
Objective: 3:45. Achieve this for stud status.

I saw the Garmin's 3:45 and was pumped. HOWEVER, I came into the stadium with 4:02 on the official clock. Scrub status. Whatever, "Just cruise in, get this over with, get a shower, and get a nap." When all of a sudden, a GIRL tried to pass me. Aw HAIL NAW. So I sprinted to the end with my crappy 4:03.

My knees hurt, ankles hurt, hips hurt, nauseous. All I could do was zombie walk to the metro. Left it ALL on the road, that means I'm better than that 65 year old that happily walked past me right?

At this point I completely, 100% understand old people. Some college-age kids tried to hand me some fliers, I glared. The kind of glare that says, "Get that out my face." I was on the metro. Started to get a jumbly in my tumbly. What are my options? I could walk out of the metro, that would take 20 minutes and sneak into McDonald's (again). I could wait for the metro and go back to my hotel. That would take 30 minutes. I could go right here... that would take 0 minutes... options were weighed. I decided that I should have packed Depends and waited it out. I went back to my hotel, showered, slept for 3 hours and felt a lot better. I checked the final results on the marathon website:


Start:00:36
(time behind race start)
5km: 29:00
10km: 56:11
21,1km:1:56:57
30km:2:45:11
Finish:3:47:46

3:47:46 final time. Forgot to account for the time behind the race start. I'll take it. Still not sure how 4:02 minus 36 minutes = 3:47. I could have been hallucinating at that point. Or maybe the Greeks are really bad at math.


The finish line was in this stadium.

Keep training,
LSF

PS: This time qualifies me for the Boston Marathon... in the 60-64 age bracket as well as the Blind/Visually Impaired Division and Mobility Impaired Program. Unfortunately my age, eyesight, and mobility do not.