Rating Gymtensity

Reviewing gyms is awesome. Here's how you do it. Just show up with your lime green book labeled "RECORD" (thanks US Government), start jotting down notes on your super-awesome color coded sheet of judgement, and ignore funny looks from people who wonder why you're such a creeper. You can sneer or raise an eyebrow to let everyone know something is unusual but don't directly look at anyone when you do. Make sure to do all this AFTER your workout: sweat cred.

So this is where your (you the readers's) feedback on "What To Look For in a Gym" is going, straight to the notepad of verdicts. I've gotten some good responses by keeping my eyes and ears open at the gym, office, and coffee shops. However, there's a knowledge gap on my part in a key area: the intensity factor.

People want a gym where the intensity matches their own -- where they can find the gymtensity* equilibrium. People go to the gym where they feel comfortable. You may be on the "chill" end of the equilibrium if people around you are sweating through their shirts and drenching their towels while you use your towel for the occasional forehead dab. And you may be on the "focused" end of the equilibrium if you find yourself rolling your eyes at the pizza and bagels your gym uses to reward its hard-working members.

I've started a list of evaluation criteria to gauge gymtensity in order to back up my hard-collected gym data. Here's what I've got:

+Grunting

Source

+Weight Dropping

Source

+Too little clothing: eg- short shorts on men, sports bra top for women

Source

+Staring: to observe an exercise for knowledge or lust

Source

+High weight: too high

Source

+Sweat on clothing

"Haha! Look how sweaty I got during my workout! Haha! Source

+Protein drinks

Extra gymtensity points for the no-look sip. Source

+Braggadocious clothing

Source.

+Competitive demeanor: hints of workout snobbery

"Oh just warming up." Source

And there are factors that would decrease the gymtensity score:

-Smiles
-Greetings
-Outgoing staff

This list needs some work but most of the bases are covered. I'll evaluate frequency as a multiplier and sum the point value.

To find the gymtensity equilibrium, you should evaluate whether you exhibit any of the qualities above. Be honest.

Feed me back!

Keep brainstorming,
LSF

*BTW, combining two words to make a new one is called a "portmanteau" and it's one of our favorite literary devices here at Long Sox Fitness. The writing snob in me thinks they are overused these days but the desperate comedian in me is having a good time. Either way, we have fun with them. You too can enjoy them at home on this website. Use it for personal entertainment, become the life of the party, or start your own fitness blog. 

What Do You Look For In a Gym?

If you read The Post of Revelations, you learned that yours truly is on a crusade in the Villages of Allston and Brighton to evaluate the highly competitive fitness industry as the one and only Boston Gym Critic. You may also recall the first post scriptum where I admonished, "I need some help figuring out what gets people into gyms and keeps them there..." Well now is that time.

"Why should I help?" you ask. Just think of the hours of free entertainment you've received by reading these side-splitting blog entries. Think of all the free personal training you've received by reading this blog. You've learned so much.  You've learned how to run barefoot on concrete. You've learned how many calories you burn in a day. You've even learned that short white socks don't go with black shoes on white people. (5th on the list when I Googled "Gym Fashion Faux Pas". Athankyou.)

Picture Source. Caption Source.

"But Long Sox, I haven't used any of that information." Not true. You've burned a bunch of calories by laughing at it. We've tightened up your abs, obliques, diaphragm, and increased your lung capacity. You are a better athlete from reading this blog. Don't go reading hilarious blogs all day and expect to be able to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro... But do you think you could pay it forward... back to me? Your feedback would be a great asset to the effort.

It would be awesome, IF, in the comments section below, in an email, on FB, on Twitter, on DailyMile, face to face, in the mail, or by Bat Signal, tell me why you choose one gym over the other. In other words, what do you look for in a gym?

The reason that I'm asking is because the goal of BostonGymReviews.com is to help uninformed gym-goers make decisions as to where to work out. Think about what gets you to go to the free 1 day trial, what gets you to commit to your first month, and what keeps you coming back.

The most obvious reasons are:
-Location
-Cost
-Vibe (intense, chill, etc)
-Features (pool, basketball court etc.)
-Hours
-Classes
-Staff
-Equipment
-Cleanliness 

So that's all folks. If you have anything to contribute, even as part of one of the bullets above, it would be greatly appreciated.

Keep brainstorming,
LSF

The Post of Revelations

Despite the nonprolific last five days, I've been rill busy, just schemin' like a demon.

I’ve been working to steer this blog/website thing in a new direction. I want to make something worth more than a few yucks here and there. Something that harnesses my passions for sweating my buns off, exploring the vast and undercharted expanse of Eastern Massachusetts, getting attention from people on the internet (the true gauge of a man’s worth), and helping those in need…

Those in need are the people in Boston who want to feel better about themselves and have a good time as they transform into superior human beings. They are ready to fight harder, eat better, run faster, and lift stronger but don’t know who to turn to for expert advice. 

Yes. A new age will soon begin for them. For I will bike, run, spar, stretch, and lift the heavens themselves to provide them with answers. I will give my expert analysis on why they should or should not pour from their pores at any old location. Yes I will do this, so that they do not have to carry the exhausting, gruesome, ugly burden of being a Boston gym critic. A job description that exists for only one man. Yes. It is I who will be... THE ONE!

As THE ONE I am sworn to protect the recently graduated from the emptiness and loneliness of being forsaken by their cushy collegiate gymnasia.

I have vowed to defend the traveler. That stranger in our strange land. He who has only a short time in our historic and athletic city.

I have promised to guard the legions of Boston’s new inhabitants who, like me only two short years ago, line the streets with their dented, scratched, and other-state-plated vehicles.

I make this pledge to them, for they have not the experience that I, an incredible athlete, trainer, and tax-paying Bostonian, have forged over the past 30 months in this great Commonwealth.  

Source

The advent of Boston Gym Reviews on bostongymreviews.com is nigh. Be ready.

Keep reading,

LSF

PS: Readers, I need some help figuring out what gets people into gyms and what keeps them there so stay tuned for a chance to affect where this thing is going.

PPS: A buddy of mine said, "I hate how bloggers always write in a tone like they're better than you." Don't know what he's talking about.