Reviewing gyms is awesome. Here's how you do it. Just show up with your lime green book labeled "RECORD" (thanks US Government), start jotting down notes on your super-awesome color coded sheet of judgement, and ignore funny looks from people who wonder why you're such a creeper. You can sneer or raise an eyebrow to let everyone know something is unusual but don't directly look at anyone when you do. Make sure to do all this AFTER your workout: sweat cred.
-Smiles
-Greetings
-Outgoing staff
So this is where your (you the readers's) feedback on "What To Look For in a Gym" is going, straight to the notepad of verdicts. I've gotten some good responses by keeping my eyes and ears open at the gym, office, and coffee shops. However, there's a knowledge gap on my part in a key area: the intensity factor.
People want a gym where the intensity matches their own -- where they can find the gymtensity* equilibrium. People go to the gym where they feel comfortable. You may be on the "chill" end of the equilibrium if people around you are sweating through their shirts and drenching their towels while you use your towel for the occasional forehead dab. And you may be on the "focused" end of the equilibrium if you find yourself rolling your eyes at the pizza and bagels your gym uses to reward its hard-working members.
+Grunting
People want a gym where the intensity matches their own -- where they can find the gymtensity* equilibrium. People go to the gym where they feel comfortable. You may be on the "chill" end of the equilibrium if people around you are sweating through their shirts and drenching their towels while you use your towel for the occasional forehead dab. And you may be on the "focused" end of the equilibrium if you find yourself rolling your eyes at the pizza and bagels your gym uses to reward its hard-working members.
I've started a list of evaluation criteria to gauge gymtensity in order to back up my hard-collected gym data. Here's what I've got:
+Grunting
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| Source |
+Too little clothing: eg- short shorts on men, sports bra top for women
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| Source |
+Staring: to observe an exercise for knowledge or lust
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| Source |
+High weight: too high
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| Source |
+Sweat on clothing
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| "Haha! Look how sweaty I got during my workout! Haha! Source |
+Protein drinks
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| Extra gymtensity points for the no-look sip. Source |
+Competitive demeanor: hints of workout snobbery
And there are factors that would decrease the gymtensity score:
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| "Oh just warming up." Source |
-Smiles
-Greetings
-Outgoing staff
This list needs some work but most of the bases are covered. I'll evaluate frequency as a multiplier and sum the point value.
To find the gymtensity equilibrium, you should evaluate whether you exhibit any of the qualities above. Be honest.
Feed me back!
To find the gymtensity equilibrium, you should evaluate whether you exhibit any of the qualities above. Be honest.
Feed me back!
Keep brainstorming,
LSF
LSF
*BTW, combining two words to make a new one is called a "portmanteau" and it's one of our favorite literary devices here at Long Sox Fitness. The writing snob in me thinks they are overused these days but the desperate comedian in me is having a good time. Either way, we have fun with them. You too can enjoy them at home on this website. Use it for personal entertainment, become the life of the party, or start your own fitness blog.
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