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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Q/Q Challenge Sketchy Results

So here's the a conclusion to the Qualitative/Quantitative Challenge. Who are the top revenue earners according to the Obstacle Course Race Database?



I got 5 out of 8. But that quantitative list still looks funny. I mean, Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge is one of the top 8 races? Dirty Girl is making more than Spartan? Spartan is making less than half of Tough Mudder? Seems screwy. It's time to go down to the nitty gritty of this list and validate the income. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Qualitative/Quantitative Challenge

So the journey to create insight into the world of obstacle course racing through purely public online means has begun with the creation of the Obstacle Course Race Database. With well over 1,000 Google searches and clicking through site after site after site after site... I attempted to find the number of runners per race, races per series, and average cost of registration to speculate race series' revenue from registration. It's not perfect but it's got to start somewhere. We learned from Nate Silver that models are never perfect but a good modeler will work to improve what s/he's got. 

Since many people are afraid of numbers, they won't bother with the data (quantitative information) and will rely on what they already know and can easily find (qualitative information). Former Orlando Magic head coach, Stan Van Gundy, said at this year's MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference, "I don't need an inch-thick packet of data to tell me that LeBron James is good at basketball." Nor did he have time to sort through and mentally digest that information. Well, I'm no NBA head coach. I don't work for a major OCR sponsor. I'm not a frequent OCR runner. But I do pay attention when I hear about races and do have Google at my fingertips. So what did I already know or could easily find?

The Qualitative Guess:
I spent about 10 minutes making a preliminary list of which race series I thought were the biggest players in the industry and filled in the model before filling in the blanks A-Z. Here were my top guesses and their estimated revenue.


There you have it. I'll post what I found soon. I'm off to sort some data.

PS: I'll try to sync the bar graph color with the blog color next time. Maybe some bigger font too. 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The OC Race Database is Ready. Let the Fun Begin.

1000 Google searches and two cookie-deletions. An initial database is built. Bring on the data sort, conditional formatting, scatter charts, histograms, regressions, and industry-transforming insights that Nostradamus himself could not foresee.

Just kidding. I'm going to buy crayons and a spirograph tomorrow.

But seriously, hopefully I'll figure something out.

Friday, July 12, 2013

The Model is Somewhat Validated by the Tough Mudder

Good news, the model is kind of right.

I temporarily paused the drudgery of looking up each race alphabetically, made a list of races that I thought were the most successful based on personal knowledge and Google results (the qualitative challenge I mentioned in the last post), and went back to filling in the blanks of the database.

Of course the Tough Mudder was on the list of leaders. Tough Mudder was transparent enough to provide a couple of figures for the public on its hiring page. What did it say for 2013?


aaaand...


Show me $70M and 500,000 participants!!


$70 million right on the money! Neat. Buuuut we also see that I was off by about 77,500 runners or roughly 13%. Not terrible but not great. What can we learn from this number?

1) The number of runners is obviously too high. We know the number of locations for a fact so I will have to dig deeper on a few stats:
      -Hours of waves leaving
      -Waves per hour
      -Days per location
      -Runners/Wave
I can mathematically prove average number of hours and waves/hour by taking samples but I'm not sure how to figure out Runners/Wave without going to an event, expertly Googling or asking around. I pulled 350 out of thin air but based it on the 300 that Spartan (a high demand race) released + 50 based on the added length of the course. I will keep you posted on any refining I do to this number. 

2) TM is making more per runner than I estimated by about 13%. 


Either the average runner is paying more than my average price (which is weird given the number of discounts available) or roughly 13% of revenue is made from a combination of sponsors, merchandise, and other sales. I might be able to figure out spectator ticket sales but it will take some insider info to get at the remaining 13%. Maybe it's not that important to a company that is SLOWING to 100% growth each year. 

Either way, it seems to balance out in my model. Which is cool. Broken clocks are right twice a day but there is only a .14% chance of it happening on any random minute.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Obstacle Course (OC) Race Database

I started following several OC races on Twitter to begin my prep for the grand endeavor of defining and examining success within the OC Race industry. I came across mudrunguide.com which keeps a directory of 257 of the world's greatest mud runs and links to their websites. Ah, easy.

Mkay, great start. What do we want to know? We want to know how much income each race makes, (we'll worry about costs later). How do we do that? We follow this awesome model.

Race Annual Income = 
Average Price of Registration X
Number of Runners X 

Number of Locations

Some of these variables have their own variables. Here are some of the challenges with filling in each blank and examples of how I fill it in for the XTREME XAMPLE MUD RUN which is completely made up.

Average Price of Registration:
The cost of registering for a race generally rises as you near the date of the event. The price increase and date progression are not always proportional so I average the race day registration and early bird registration.

EG: Early bird registration: $65
Race day registration: $100
(100+65) / 2= $82.5 per registration

It's extremely simplified but cut me some slack, I have to do this 257 times.

Source, the link actually leads to a pretty cool business idea.
Number of Runners:
This can easily be found by finding a Race Results board. Unfortunately, I'm only finding those for about 30% of races. This has been a major wrench in the spokes for a lot of races but I'm able to bootstrap my way to a pretty good approximation after a little research on hundreds of pages.

If there are no race results, I've been finding the number of waves/city which can be directly found or deduced by start and end times.

EG: The first wave is at 8:00 AM (8). The race continues until 2:30 PM (14.5) when the final wave is released. Waves start every 15-20 minutes (3-4/hour). Waves are limited to 300 runners.

So 14.5-8=6.5 hours at 3-4 waves/hour. 3.5 X 6.5 = 22.75 waves.

I then look at number of open spots (if shown) in each wave and generalize ~200/wave.

So 22.75 X 200 = 4, 550 runners/city.

A single wave from the Dirty Girl, multiply by lots. Source.
Number of Locations:
This is the easiest. You can usually just click on "Events" and count.

EG: Chicago + New England + New Jersey + Pennsylvania = 4. Voila, 4 locations.

The Spartan Race's current global distribution. Making boucoups USD, CAD, and GBP. Source.
I changed it from Number of Race Days because the number of days were rarely consistent in the number of waves. As in, waves on Saturday are not equal to the waves on Sunday. Since I'm counting waves already, I account for it in the Number of Runners.

Summary:
Based on the XTREME XAMPLE MUD RUN which posted the numbers listed above, the XXMR boasts 4,550 runners paying $82.5 each in 4 locations. This brings in about $1.5 million. Nice work guys.

Next time I'll talk about what insights we might be able to gain from this data. I'm also going to challenge myself to qualitatively figure out the quantitative part. Should be fun.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

OCR Registration Income Model. Prettyyyy Rough

You read last time that I was creating a model for income for Obstacle Course Races so that I could determine what are some of the key factors to success in this quickly growing industry. I also said that it would be prettyyyy prettyyyy prettyyyy pretty rough, at least in the beginning. Prepare to be awestruck by this mathematical marvel:

Race Series Annual Income = 
(Average price of registration) x 
(Number of runners per race) x
(Number of race days) 


Let's look at an initial list of shortcomings so I can work on them in the future.

1) It neglects sponsor money and  food, retail, spectator ticket, and parking sales.

2) Average Price of Registration excludes:
Date of registration discounts: People registered three months in advance pay $60, "day-of" registerers pay $110
Special group discounts: veterans, students,organized teams, and volunteers benefit from this.
Coupons: You saw it in your Groupon Daily Deals and thought about it. Admit it.

3) Number of Runners: When race results are not posted I have to find the number of heats/day and guess how many runners are in each heat. Even then, heats aren't always full or published. But basically that's...

Number of Daily Runners =
[(Starting hour of last heat) -

(Starting hour of first heat)] x 
(Number of heats/hour) x 
(Runners/heat)

4) Number of Races Annually:

(Number of locations) x 
(Days of racing at each location)

So that's the start. I have at least 257 races to comb through and collect data. I'll write about differentiated and successful races throughout the process.

PS: How great are the faces of the people Larry David said, "pretty good," to? Straight faces hanging on the edge of the laughter cliff by a thread. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Obstacle Course Racing (OCR): Defining Success

I mentioned in my summer missions post that I'd be "Exploring the keys to success in the fitness and sports industries" and I'm finally on my way. I'm dedicating this week to Obstacle Course Races, a growing trend in American fitness and recreation. I believe that the growth of this phenomenon lies in America's need for adventure. Life's too easy to run on paved roads.

To find the keys to success, we need to understand what success is. So what am I talking about? In the business world, success is profitability. Profit = Income - Cost. High number = successful. Low number = unsuccessful. For now.

Like many small businesses, OCR series aren't public companies so we can't look at their cash flows or balance sheets or any other accounting documents. However, I'm going to take a stab at each series' income. And by take a stab at, I mean guessing with the precision of a piñata bat. My models will not be very precise is what I'm getting at...  It's the MBA way.

Rough as it may be to begin with, I will be able to refine the models as I go.

For now, I have to rely on Google to find the data.  And some will have to be pulled out of thin air. Where do the thin air numbers come from? Find out next time...

Good old-fashioned self-deprecation. Source

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Why Exercise?

Frequent readers... and there are none of you... may have seen the wrap-up of the Superhero Scramble in which I got "sweaty, muddy, bruised, and sometimes bloody." We concluded the article with the question, why do people do this? Let's back up and go to the highest level possible so we can land on a better answer. Why do people exercise? Well I can't speak for the world but I can speak for myself.

Why do I exercise?

It's Challenging: Why choose mud runs, or marathons, or six pack abs as a goal? Why climb the highest mountain?  Why, 86 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas? We choose to exercise in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. (skip to 8:20)

Although JFK is implying we went to the moon for the challenge, we know it was really just to beat the Soviets and because it's awesome. The Vikings went to Canada first, the Spanish went to the Carribean, the Portuguese went to India, and America went to the moon.* Why? Because it was awesome. I think competition and adventure are two subsets of achievement that cause people to exercise. Onward...

When winning gets old. Source
-To Compete: I'll define competition as attempting the same goal as other people to see who can do it best.

It's plain and simple, winning is great. It shows that you're good at something or at least better than other people. If you find yourself winning all the time, it gets old. You may even do something drastic like leave your 3 time NBA championship team to play baseball for the Birmingham Barons.

But not everyone can win. Quitting and denial of effort are back-ups in the event of a loss. The best approaches to losing are either learning from mistakes and improving or realizing that you are bad and accepting it. That's why there are handicaps in golf, right?

-To Find Adventure: I'll define adventure as stepping outside of your comfort zone to accomplish something previously thought to be impossible with a high level of risk. It's why (some) Soldiers want to go to war, superheros scramble, skydivers skydive, and Bodhi likes to rob banks. It's the ultimate rush.

Obviously, this is one of the main products that sports like mud runs and rock climbing offer. People that want to do this want to show themselves and the world that they are bad mofos. This is probably because growing up in the suburbs and working in a cubicle are not that physically demanding or threatening.

To Socially Interact: I'll define this as building and nurturing friendships with others through a shared hobby. Take a look at all the run clubs that are popping up around the US. Boston has an enormous run club called the November Project. To kick things off, everyone greets and hugs someone new before running hills or stadium steps. Conversations between runners even continue into the run. Where else can you make friends like this in your sneakers?

The social interaction aspect started long ago when sports were invented. There's nothing like getting together with your best friends and taking on another group of friends. Think rugby, the closest sport to a fight with a ball. They destroy each other on the field then have beers and sing dirty songs in English that I can't understand.

Health: The human body is an adaptable machine that builds competence in what it does. If sitting in a seat on the way to work, at work, on the way back from work, and at a computer at home is what it does, that's all it will do. If you want to be ready to do anything more than sit without hurting yourself, you have to exercise. It also helps you...

The early girdle. Source.
-To Look Good: Whether it's the guy/gal looking at you in the mirror or guy/gal looking at you walking by, it's nice to be sexy and know it. It's why God invented plastic surgery and Queen Elizabeth I invented girdles.

-To Feel Good: Here's WebMD's take on the mental health aspect. This stuff is pretty common knowledge by now, right? Endorphins, sleep, diet and whatnot.

-To Clear the Mind: I vividly remember yoga classes where I was told to forget all my worries and feel peaceful... which made me remember my worries and feel uneasy. I sometimes prefer the isolation that comes with a run and headphones. There are times when you need to get away from the stresses of real life like deadlines, bills and the Gilgo Beach Killer. Focusing on low-consequence efforts like miles and reps can help you relax and refocus.

-To Live Longer: Sustained physical activity over the years has the ability to prevent all kinds of illnesses that come later in life (later, on average, because many of them make you die). Young athletes generally have this benefit in mind but it's not their high on the list of important benefits. Your 80 year old self will be glad you played outside when you were younger.

To Enable Activities in Real Life: You usually hear people say, "to live a fuller life." You'll hear exercise goals such as, "To keep up with my grandkids," or, "be ready for that trip to... place where people hike." These exercisers are having some physical challenge and have to build up to be able to meet it.

This list is not totally comprehensive but it is a good starting point to figuring out if there are better alternatives and characterize types of exercise, motives and trends. We will dig deeper and hopefully get some perspectives other than my own.

*May be historically inaccurate but probably not, according to American history books in 1962, when Kennedy made the speech

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Superhero Scramble

Team Red, White, and Blue's (Team RWB) Massachusetts got a random email from a point of contact at the Superhero Scramble asking if some veterans would be willing to help with the administration of their race in exchange for a free bib number and t-shirt. Why thankee.

A few of us got on board and played in the mud for free by volunteering. I ran the Spartan Race at the same park in Amesbury, MA and did pretty well in August 2012.

I finished with a time of ~53:00 for a 4.4 mile course which earned me 4th place overall, 4th for gender, 1st in age group. Out of ~1,100 runners that's a pretty phenomenal finish if I do say so myself. But let's not get too excited over a good but not out-of-this-world physical feat. So how can YOU succeed?

Keys to Success

Nail the Ring Swing: This video shows the easiest way to do it. It demands a little strength, a little patience and a lot of coordination.

Be Aggressive on Slippery Hills: There is a way to go down a hill that is too slippery for running or walking (also works great on snow). Squat down on one leg and extend one in front of you (to buffer any rocks or trees you may run into) and put your hands to the side to keep balance. Think of a pistol squat with hands on the side for steering and braking. It's risky but fast and looks awesome. Which is the most important thing. If you're not comfortable with this, just keep three points of contact on the ground or slide down on your butt.
The Pistol Squat (Source)

Trust Your Feet in Puddles: A lot of runners were afraid of falling in a hole or stepping on something sharp (or snakes). Keep your knees bent, keep your weight back so your front foot can "explore" where the next step will be, and step gently and cautiously but quickly. Pull a Homer Simpson and bring your best snake whacker for snakes and people passing you.

Be Smart About the Beast: The 10 degree wall with ropes that runners can use to pull themselves up and over. Find a rope with the most evenly spaced and most knots, grab with both hands over your head, keep your torso parallel to the wall and legs perpendicular to it. Reach hand over hand, pull, take a step, repeat until you're at the top. On the last hand-over-hand, grab the leg and pull yourself over. NEVER push downward on the wall to gain elevation... that's just what they're expecting you to do.

Train for Hills and Train for Cardio: The 4.4 miles will be excruciating if you don't have the leg strength and endurance. 98% of runners will give up and walk at some point... if not at most points.

Highlights:

The Superheroes: LOTS of people got into the superhero theme by dressing up. It keeps the race more light-hearted than hardcore-themed races like the Spartan Race. It was a fun crowd.

The Beast: There were some pretty big spills on this bad boy. Nobody got injured but, dang, it was entertaining to watch.

Overall it was a good time but it got me wondering how races differentiate themselves. If the Superhero Scramble and Spartan Race were at the same park, same trails, same length, similar obstacles, same music and food, same price, and people hit you, kinda, at the finish line would you choose one over the other?  Maybe it's just filling a gap in the calendar when there are no other races.

Also,why do people do this at all? There are very few occasions in American society where you will find yourself sweaty, muddy, bruised, and sometimes bleeding and our predecessors worked very hard to make it that way. Why do we want it?

I will be trying to answer these questions in the future. Stay tuned. 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Blog is Back

Time to get excited. Long Sox Fitness is back for the summer! It was a busy school year but things have settled waaay down and there's more time to focus on fun stuff again. So what's on the agenda for LSF over the next few months?

1) Exploring the keys to success in the fitness and sports industries: That's right. I'm in business school so let's get to the bottom of how people basically make money by pumping us up and playing games. I'll spare you the financial statements but there may be anywhere from a few to many, many bar, line, pie, and scatter charts. Even a heat map if you're lucky.

2) General fitness tips: Yep, still working out. Full-body weights and cardio but always mixing it up. There will be a yet-to-be-named adventure race in the near future. 

3) Basketball tips: I'm working on finishing shots and dribbling this summer. You'll get a glimpse of some of the drills, metrics, successes and failures along the way. 

4) Some other things: Carte blanche to write whatever I want. I'll try not to turn it into an online diary. Nobody cares.

PS: For those still following the Surfcycle Diaries the other two were Spiders and Sand. I left my coat on a porch one night and got bitten all over my arms the next day.

Also, on the motorcycle I tried to stop too quickly, used too much front brake, and turned over a patch of sand and put the bike down. I made it all the way from Boston to Wilmington before that happened and will not be headed back by motorcycle any time soon. Thanks for reading.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Surfcycle Plague 4: Killer

Drunk bros in button down shirts and shiny necklaces with slicked up hair and foreigners of indistinguishable nationality were paying for their gas. I threw out the Twinkies wrapper and empty coffee cup and left the gas station on the east end of the Long Island Expressway. It's a good thing I had a full tank of caffeine because I did NOT fill up on gas.

Fifteen miles later I was near the geographic center of Long Island with an empty gas tank and no gas light indicating the fuel level. I ditched the motorcycle and bushwhacked off the expressway to a country road. I found a street light and started to call my insurance company. I saw a man walking his Great Dane and hung up.

“Excuse me, sir!” I waved my lit phone in his direction as I walked away from the streetlight, “Do you have a gallon of gas I could use?”

He was bald with a grey, maintained mustache and focused V-shaped eyebrows. He was wearing jean shorts and a t-shirt. He looked real serious for a guy walking his dog but not for a guy getting approached by a weirdo in the dark at 10:30PM on a Friday night in the middle of nowhere.

“Yeah, I do. You run out or something?” I explained the situation. He returned in ten minutes in a paneled van with his contracting company logo on the side and a foldable ladder tied to the top. The inside was a mess of paint cans, tools, and a gasoline canister... 

“I used to ride motorcycles too. Until the accident. Everyone has an accident.” Yes, he really said, "Until the accident."
We talked about riding, wrestling (he was a high school coach), and Charlotte, where he went to college.

We added the gallon. It started. 100 feet later, it stopped. “I think we need more fuel,” he said as We continued to exhaust the charge of the battery.

We began to search for a gas station.  We started talking again. We didn't talk about anything important for about twenty minutes (I was wondering how he didn't know where the nearest gas station was) until he broke the casual nature:

“Here’s a piece of trivia you might like. Well, you may already know it.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s a serial killer in the area.”

I was still calm because I didn't really believe him, “Really? Still on the loose?”

“Yeah.”

“As in, has murdered recently and not been caught?”

“Yeah, they found some of the bodies… well body parts at least. Right near where you broke down. Over by uhhh, Wading River Road. It's the Gilgo Beach Killer. I thought it was national news.”
I gave the dramatic chipmunk look and thought of when and how I would have to get out of this.

A leather jacket would SURELY soften the blow of a couple of bullets to the torso as I rolled out of the car and hid in the woods right? I would probably even kill the Gilgo Beach Killer in a one-on-one "First Blood" scenario. I took the junior cadet Leadership Training Course on survival, escape, resistance, and evasion and did all four of those things. No way the GBK was going to take me down. I had my plan for the spear trap laid out in my head when he eased my fears:

“Don’t worry though. He mostly just kills prostitutes." PHEW!!

Keep riding,
LSF

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

So The Spartan Race Went Pretty Well I Guess

I showed up for my first adventure race this last Sunday with vague expectations. I knew I would have to run a lot, hop over some obstacles, get dirty, and get hit in the gut by some Spartans?/Persians? at the finish line.

Finishing with a time of 52:18 I finished 2/300 in my heat (300, ahaaaa, well played), 4 out of many in my age group, 37/2280 for men and 40/3644 overall. Blew the top 5% thing out of the water.

Success contributors:
  1. CrossFit Training: Full body workouts, able to move my weight more easily. Only 2-3 weeks.
  2. Effort in Training: I push my limits every time I train. 
  3. Effort on the Course: I was connnnstantly passing people which was positive reinforcement. My cardio recovery methods were a slow jog or negotiating the obstacles, others walked.
  4. Patience: I learned to take my time on obstacles where falling could result in 30 burpees. I did not learn this until after the stump jump and monkey bars.
  5. Hills: I think I'm better at them than most people. It has a lot to do with the fact that I weigh 160 and each leg is a 750CC V-twin.
  6. General Studliness: Never thrown a spear before but I nailed it. Didn't even stop to show the girl next to me how to throw it. "DO YOU THROW IT LIKE A BASEBALL?" "Idunno, I guess." You don't.
  7. Fun: The race was just plain fun. I had a stupid smile on my face from the second I got there until I went to bed that night. I love getting sweaty, muddy, tired, dirty, bloody, wet, and burned while leaving the general populace crying and puking in my wake. 
Hills are good. Hiiiiiiiills are good. 
Failures:
  1. Walked Twice: Once on a major hill about half way through the course and once carrying a 40lb sandbag up the hill in the picture. I hold myself to a higher standard than running at road races but running was not an option at that point. You officially win Spartan Race.
  2. Mamby Pamby Face: I was so determined to not get hit in the junk by the guys at the finish line that I believe I failed to meet my other goal of not making a Tom Brady waterslideface at the end. I covered the wedding tackle and took a pugil stick straight to the chest. It doesn't hurt if they don't step into it, loud though. I will you keep you posted on any pictures.
  3. Short Sox: Should have kept them long. Booooooo.
Ahh! Spartans! Source
As for everyone else, I saw a huge sense of accomplishment, joy, relief, and confidence on every single person crossing the finish line. It was awesome to see people working together to help their friends when they really needed it. People who were unsure if they would finish had team members and even random strangers screaming them on and grabbing them by the wrist to help them over the next obstacle. It's the type of comradery you only see when intense physical pain is involved.

Even at the shower/hose station, strangers helped each other spray off in their underwear. It was almost like we had gone to war together. I don't like being overly dramatic but it seriously looked like a refugee camp. People accustomed to unlimited hot shower water who take their time with their moisturizing apricot face scrub and peach colored loofahs were grateful just to get a free hose. As cushy as we have made our lives, it's great to see us adapting when we need to. It downright gave me hope for our country.

Keep training,
LSF

Monday, August 13, 2012

Lax Flakes

Summer league lacrosse through Croart Inc. is wrapping up in Boston. I was on a "free agent" team named "Runaway Train".

Of course Soul Asylum's song "Runaway Train" came to mind when I heard the team name. There is some room for debate, but the song is about runaway children and the video features a number of mugshots of missing children in between Instagram-y shots of depressed alternative rock musicians. It was probably the saddest thing I'd ever seen at age nine, but then again, I wasn't supposed to be watching MTV.

Anywho, a "free agent" team is comprised of people that couldn't put together a team or weren't invited to play for one. Basically, it's the I-don't-have-friends-that-play-lacrosse team. Worse than having no lacrosse-buddies is the fact that lacrosse players, especially those that don't have lax-pals, are the biggest flakes in the solar system. We had nearly a full roster show up for the first game and averaged a mighty four players after that. And yes, it was the same four players.

It seemed as if most of the Runaway Train roster had run away from home. It's unfortunate.


Every night we had to recruit players from previous games, switch players over from other teams, and make up new rules for scrimmage-like games. During the last couple of weeks, Croart management shuffled players around and called in friends to fill up rosters. It showed great flexibility on their part. I had a blast with it and will be going back to Croart.

Keep training,
LSF

Friday, August 10, 2012

Surfcycle Plague 3: Sleet

Based on the previous day's jaunt through the rain, I considered myself a seasoned motorcycle rider. Could prolllly go toe-to-toe with Peter Fonda and Ghost Rider. I had stared Death in the face, looked away, looked back at it, looked away, pretended to check my phone, and kept riding once it got bored and walked away. It takes the heart of a lion to make Death lose interest in you.

Say hello to MS Powerpoint's Smart Art. You can't teach this level of PP savvy.

Weeeeelllll, I couldn't look at my phone this time. Independence Day alien ship-like clouds floated above the Garden State Parkway in front of me. I counted mississisppis after each lightning bolt. At the one mississippi mark, a rush of anticipation and adrenaline surged within me that can only be likened to the readiness of Leeroy Jenkins before his dungeon blitz.

Light rain turned into heavy rain. Visibility dropped. Traffic slowed. Some cars pulled over as I plowed through the elements like the Waterboy through an unsuspecting offensive line. Confidence rose. Excited anticipation turned into determined focus.

Plinks turned into tinks as sleet began to hit the motorcycle's gas tank. I started to think about how icy gravel would affect traction and how the balls of ice could damage the bike. I finally pulled over after five whole minutes of the manliest withstanding of a barrage since Braveheart (1:48 mark). The sleet immediately stopped.

Keep riding,
LSF

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Surfcycle Plague 2: Rain

We all know that rain is part of summer. It can ruin your fireworks, or your cookout, or your baseball game, or your motorcycle ride. There's not much you can do besides head back inside and watch black and white Spanish TV like the McCallisters in Florida.

However, on the first night of the Surfcycle Sojourn, I had somewhere to BE. I had to go to a someplace where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capastrano. I'm talking about a little place called Staten Island (wait, did that clip say Cincinnati?). I could not be deterred.

I've spent my fair share of time in the rain. Canoeing the Amazon River, patrolling during the swamp phase of Ranger School, and even walking to my car earlier today. So I wasn't about to let a few lil droplets stop me.

The downpour was a combination of sting-ing rain and big ole FAT rain because I was hitting big ole FAT rain at 65mph. The roads were drenched. I had to defog the visor every few minutes and couldn't see a darn thing.

Smack dab in the center of the westbound Long Island Expressway three red lights hovered at eye level 100 yards in front of me. I started to coast. I saw a blob of a man in front of the lights acting as road guard at 50 yards. I recognized the cab of a semi the size of an untransformed Optimus Prime making a U-turn and slammed on both brakes.

The tires skidded as I fishtailed 30 degrees toward the back of the truck and cruised onto the shoulder. The truck finished its turn and I sat on the side of the road for a minute.

We're going to get serious for a minute. Have you ever thought of the worst case scenario and can't even imagine it? I came within a few feet of getting my entire upper body hacked off by an empty flatbed and thought, "At least it wouldn't hurt." I took a few more moments to let my heart rate slow down and carried on in a Churchill fashion.

Source

Keep riding,
LSF

PS: I think the internet overdid the "Keep Calm..." thing. Check out these search results. The only one REEALLY worth making was "Keep Calm and Call Batman". Words to live by.

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Spartan Race is in One Week... I'll Probably Win

So the Spartan Race is coming up to Amesbury, MA this weekend. Ima gettin ready.

I watched a demo on the obstacles that runners face during the Spartan. Boucoups cardio and gymnastics.

Cardio, of course, is any kind of workout that elevates the heartrate for an extended period of time. Gymnastics tests agility, balance, and explosive strength. Think of any kind of exercise where you use your own body weight rather than weights, like pull ups, push ups or box jumps.

I started doing the Workouts of the Day (WOD) for the Spartan Race at my crappy at-work gym (I was a gym orphan at the time) and ditched it after a week. I decided to try real WODs at a local CrossFit gym. I've been doing it for two weeks and come out sore for days every time. The good sore.

I've had some success with WODs that involve low weight, high rep, so I'm hoping that I may be able to finish in the top 10%, but the top spots are going to go to CrossFit fiends from the area.  There's been some love and some hate on the blog about CrossFit so I'll let you know how it goes. May even throw in a gym review.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I can handle a 5k, a rope climb, a fiery pit, and a couple of guys at the finish line with awesome yet slightly effeminate abs and over-sized American Gladiator Q-Tips.

Cliffhanger photo right here. Would love to see if he actually followed through on the swing. Source

Also, I've been to Thermopylae. The spirit of Leonidas will push me at every step.

Molon labe,
LSF

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Surfcycle Plague 1: Heat

Think way, way back to late June in the summer of 2012. Facebook was aglow with mobile updates of triple digit car dashboard thermometers, people updating "SO HOT OUTSIDE!!!!!!lol", or "omg al gore was right!", and others responding, "it's summer, dumdum", or posting a Fox News article refuting global warming. Ah yes, it certainly was fun to share the temperature, politics, and science. We all learned from each other...

MEANWHILE

I was sweating my baguettes off at Andersen Cycle Works in Framingham as they finished installing the saddlebags which would carry my luggage for two weeks and a suit for a wedding the next day (~4 cubic feet for poindexters people who like numbers).

I asked Mr. Andersen for any advice on my first trip. To be honest with you, readers, I was surprised:

"Go fast. Stay in front of all the cars or else you'll get complacent." Kaaaay. I was still taking turns with shakingly rigid arms and thinking through each turn as a procedure in list form. Proooolly not gonna stay in front of all the cars.

"Keep your jacket zipped up. You want to keep your sweat in to stay cool. You'll get dehydrated from the wind." "That is another thing that I am not going to do," I thought... defiantly. Because I don't play by anyone's rules, not even my own, like Craig Hoffman.

I completely ignored the experienced motorcyclist's tips and took off. I stopped every hour to hydrate and show off my awesome motorcycle.

After an hour, my jacket sleeves were stuck to my arms and the inside of my helmet smelled like used gym shorts. Luckily I only had 26 hours to go.

Keep riding,
LSF

PS: Blogging milestone of strikethrough-a-word-and-replace-it-with-something-less-offensive achieved.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Six Plagues of the Surfcycle Diaries

Bear with a change in scope of the blog. It doesn't have to be all about advice or how you do this or that. It doesn't even have to be about athletic stuff. You, beloved reader, come here for two things: laughs and celebrities.

We exercise to live and not live to exercise... unlike what those hardcore motivational Pinterest posters would have us believe. Well maybe they don't but the hardcore levels reach Way Too High for an endstate of being healthy and being really really good looking.

To satisfy my lust for doing awesome stuff I bought a motorcycle. I two-birds-one-stoned it with a surfing trip I've been meaning to take since last year and went down the east coast for a couple of weeks.

I understand that motorcycles are dangerous. Even if you're a good driver... er rider... er driver, whatever, you're still extremely susceptible to getting hit by cell phone users, the elderly, and nerds.

Motorcycles can only stop so fast and only have so many swerve options. If you're not lucky, you could end up like Lawrence of Arabia, Lance Murdoch (you'll really like this clip if you like barely-audible Spanish), or, worse, Gary Busey. A+ clip of Busey btw, don't miss it.

But seriously, with a weekend course on riding and two days on the roads of Boston, taking off on a 2200 mile road and sea trip from Boston, MA to Wilmington, NC was a major risk which I would not recommend for the weak or faint of heart. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I was visited by the Six Plagues of the Surfcycle Sojourn.

Heat
Rain
Sleet
Killer
Spiders
Sand

Strap in for a Jumanji-like adventure.

Keep riding,
LSF

PS: Is Pinterest still cool? Do people go on there? Is it just for women?
PPS: Check out them sassy sox up there.
PPPS: Just cause you were curious--


Saturday, June 2, 2012

I Can Tell You Right Now That Crooked Arrows Is Going To Be A Terrible Movie

"Crooked Arrows" which has coined itself as the first great (Native) American lacrosse movie lands in cinemas nationwide this weekend.

And it's about darn time. Baseball has "Field of Dreams", "Bull Durham", "Moneyball", and "A League of Their Own". Basketball has "Hoosiers", "He Got Game", "Space Jam", and "Air Bud". Even chess has "Searching for Bobby Fischer". Time for lax to hit the silver screen besides American Pie.

Hennyway, it's about a dude who wants to take over his family's casino but must prove himself to the tribe by coaching a lacrosse team. Makes sense. Dude can coach lax, dude can run a casino. I get that.

Source
Looks like there's a good looking lady the protagonist chases after. There's a rival team that is white, rich, has first names like Hunter and Barrett, and is generally arrogant. The Native American team is a ragtag bunch that is not that into lacrosse, their heritage, each other, hard work, or having cool uniforms. But I'll bet our main man can change all that.

So now that my brief overview and that trailer have got you all excited for it, you're thinking, "Sounds like a quality flick, what's LSF's deal? How could this be bad?" Well I'll tell you: I'm not in it.

It just so happens that I auditioned to be in it about a year ago. They were doing a casting call for players in Wellesley and a friend at work asked if I had heard about it. They were looking for talented lacrosse players age 18-25. Well shoot, at age 27, in a helmet, I didn't look a day over 32 and was passable as 25... which was supposed to be passable as 18.

A chance to be a part of the first great (Native) American lacrosse movie? Sign me up.

On a day's notice, I showed up to the audition, not having held a stick in 16 months with kids that were on summer break from their college programs. I blended in ALLLLLLRRIIIIIIIGHT until the agility drills. The cleats I used in high school weren't working on turf. When going from full speed to full stop I fell straight on my butt and was immediately cut from the audition.

The morals of the story?
-Agility takes training
-Equip properly
-This movie is going to stink

Anyway, if you lax go see it.

Join the Tribe,
LSF

PS: I'd say Stiffler absolutely nailed the lax bro part. Chris Klein missed the mark a bit. It wasn't until "Just Friends" that he truly embodied lax braudacity by wooing babes left and right with "Jamie Smiles". Just Jamie in this case though.
PPS: Just looked it up on IMDB and one of the first 20 in the cast is "Tilty Sunglasses Guy". Why have I not seen this twice?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's Lax Time, Let's Go

Well, the 2012 Major League Lacrosse season is underway and the Boston Cannons are kicking butt. What can they do that I can't?

Well obviously they were all Division I (some D3) standouts in college, can sprint, stop, turn, and shoot 7 times faster than me. They can shoot, pass, dodge, check, and hit with surgical precision. Furthermore, they just won the national, nay, global championship of lacrosse last year it may be safe to say there are some things that they are better at than me. In a rare moment of Long Sox humility, I feel comfortable and correct in saying, that I am not the athlete that each of the Boston Cannons are. Swallow sadness.

Regardless, summer lacrosse leagues in the Greater Boston Metropolitan area are coming up and I don't want to look like a jabroni (defined as "One who talks the talk, but could never walk the walk" on the academic and always reliable website, www.urbandictionary.com). In fact, it would be the bee's knees if I could stand out. Sounds like GOOAL SETTINGGGG TIIIIIME!!!!! (imagine this with your best Oprah surprise voice. Yep...... we got Oprah references).

So Croart Lacrosse hosts a number of Summer Leagues, some of which are by invite only. Not having done my on-the-field-recon, I'm guessing those are for folks who played competitively in college but no longer spend 2-5 hours/day focused on the sport. Which I haven't done since 2002. 

Keep training,
LSF