Lax Flakes

Summer league lacrosse through Croart Inc. is wrapping up in Boston. I was on a "free agent" team named "Runaway Train".

Of course Soul Asylum's song "Runaway Train" came to mind when I heard the team name. There is some room for debate, but the song is about runaway children and the video features a number of mugshots of missing children in between Instagram-y shots of depressed alternative rock musicians. It was probably the saddest thing I'd ever seen at age nine, but then again, I wasn't supposed to be watching MTV.

Anywho, a "free agent" team is comprised of people that couldn't put together a team or weren't invited to play for one. Basically, it's the I-don't-have-friends-that-play-lacrosse team. Worse than having no lacrosse-buddies is the fact that lacrosse players, especially those that don't have lax-pals, are the biggest flakes in the solar system. We had nearly a full roster show up for the first game and averaged a mighty four players after that. And yes, it was the same four players.

It seemed as if most of the Runaway Train roster had run away from home. It's unfortunate.

Every night we had to recruit players from previous games, switch players over from other teams, and make up new rules for scrimmage-like games. During the last couple of weeks, Croart management shuffled players around and called in friends to fill up rosters. It showed great flexibility on their part. I had a blast with it and will be going back to Croart.

Keep training,
LSF

I Can Tell You Right Now That Crooked Arrows Is Going To Be A Terrible Movie

"Crooked Arrows" which has coined itself as the first great (Native) American lacrosse movie lands in cinemas nationwide this weekend.

And it's about darn time. Baseball has "Field of Dreams", "Bull Durham", "Moneyball", and "A League of Their Own". Basketball has "Hoosiers", "He Got Game", "Space Jam", and "Air Bud". Even chess has "Searching for Bobby Fischer". Time for lax to hit the silver screen besides American Pie.

Hennyway, it's about a dude who wants to take over his family's casino but must prove himself to the tribe by coaching a lacrosse team. Makes sense. Dude can coach lax, dude can run a casino. I get that.

Source

Looks like there's a good looking lady the protagonist chases after. There's a rival team that is white, rich, has first names like Hunter and Barrett, and is generally arrogant. The Native American team is a ragtag bunch that is not that into lacrosse, their heritage, each other, hard work, or having cool uniforms. But I'll bet our main man can change all that.

So now that my brief overview and that trailer have got you all excited for it, you're thinking, "Sounds like a quality flick, what's LSF's deal? How could this be bad?" Well I'll tell you: I'm not in it.

It just so happens that I auditioned to be in it about a year ago. They were doing a casting call for players in Wellesley and a friend at work asked if I had heard about it. They were looking for talented lacrosse players age 18-25. Well shoot, at age 27, in a helmet, I didn't look a day over 32 and was passable as 25... which was supposed to be passable as 18.

A chance to be a part of the first great (Native) American lacrosse movie? Sign me up.

On a day's notice, I showed up to the audition, not having held a stick in 16 months with kids that were on summer break from their college programs. I blended in ALLLLLLRRIIIIIIIGHT until the agility drills. The cleats I used in high school weren't working on turf. When going from full speed to full stop I fell straight on my butt and was immediately cut from the audition.

The morals of the story?
-Agility takes training
-Equip properly
-This movie is going to stink

Anyway, if you lax go see it.

Join the Tribe,
LSF

PS: I'd say Stiffler absolutely nailed the lax bro part. Chris Klein missed the mark a bit. It wasn't until "Just Friends" that he truly embodied lax braudacity by wooing babes left and right with "Jamie Smiles". Just Jamie in this case though.
PPS: Just looked it up on IMDB and one of the first 20 in the cast is "Tilty Sunglasses Guy". Why have I not seen this twice?

It's Lax Time, Let's Go

Well, the 2012 Major League Lacrosse season is underway and the Boston Cannons are kicking butt. What can they do that I can't?

Well obviously they were all Division I (some D3) standouts in college, can sprint, stop, turn, and shoot 7 times faster than me. They can shoot, pass, dodge, check, and hit with surgical precision. Furthermore, they just won the national, nay, global championship of lacrosse last year it may be safe to say there are some things that they are better at than me. In a rare moment of Long Sox humility, I feel comfortable and correct in saying, that I am not the athlete that each of the Boston Cannons are. Swallow sadness.

Regardless, summer lacrosse leagues in the Greater Boston Metropolitan area are coming up and I don't want to look like a jabroni (defined as "One who talks the talk, but could never walk the walk" on the academic and always reliable website, www.urbandictionary.com). In fact, it would be the bee's knees if I could stand out. Sounds like GOOAL SETTINGGGG TIIIIIME!!!!! (imagine this with your best Oprah surprise voice. Yep...... we got Oprah references).

So Croart Lacrosse hosts a number of Summer Leagues, some of which are by invite only. Not having done my on-the-field-recon, I'm guessing those are for folks who played competitively in college but no longer spend 2-5 hours/day focused on the sport. Which I haven't done since 2002. 

Keep training,
LSF