It's time to get real about weight loss. I've done a superb job of eating and drinking pretty much whatever I want whenever I want and only and put on flab-weight with a couple of exceptions that lasted about 3 months altogether when I was legit fat. A great aspect of being a man is that people don't care that much about how fat men are unless it's totally out of control.
Anywho, up until this point, I'm so unaccustomed to dieting that when I count calories, I feel like what the former governor of California, Terminator, Detective John Kimble, Mr. Freeze, and Conan the Barbarian would all call a, "girlie man." I am aware of the irony of that statement. The 7 time Mr. Olympia once had a 6 pack of his own, so is it manly? Let's look at some of recent history's more famous 6 packs to gauge whether a chiseled stomach is manly or not:
1) Arnold Schwarzenegger: You've got all of the most important bio facts above.
Ruling: Manly.
2) Tyler Durden: (Spoiler alert) So Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) was Ed Norton's imaginary friend in Fight Club. Norton was bored with life and projected what he wanted to be onto his imaginary friend, Tyler. Tyler summarized by addressing Norton, "All the ways you wish you could be? That's me." To include a shredded 6 pack. Come to think of it though, there were no chicks allowed in Fight Club... not sure if that's manly or not. Probably not. Regardless...
3) 300: It is a well known historical fact that Sparta raised and trained some of the boldest, most skilled, and all around best fighters in history. It's also a lesser known fact that mentorship among older and younger Spartans often got a little weird. I can speculate all I want as to the manliness of the 300 at Thermopylae but Saturday Night Live has already authoritatively hit it with the stamp of FIERCE!!
4) Madonna: I wouldn't fight her.
Anywho, up until this point, I'm so unaccustomed to dieting that when I count calories, I feel like what the former governor of California, Terminator, Detective John Kimble, Mr. Freeze, and Conan the Barbarian would all call a, "girlie man." I am aware of the irony of that statement. The 7 time Mr. Olympia once had a 6 pack of his own, so is it manly? Let's look at some of recent history's more famous 6 packs to gauge whether a chiseled stomach is manly or not:
1) Arnold Schwarzenegger: You've got all of the most important bio facts above.
Ruling: Manly.
2) Tyler Durden: (Spoiler alert) So Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) was Ed Norton's imaginary friend in Fight Club. Norton was bored with life and projected what he wanted to be onto his imaginary friend, Tyler. Tyler summarized by addressing Norton, "All the ways you wish you could be? That's me." To include a shredded 6 pack. Come to think of it though, there were no chicks allowed in Fight Club... not sure if that's manly or not. Probably not. Regardless...
Ruling: Manly.
Ruling: Not-manly.
4) Madonna: I wouldn't fight her.
Ruling: Manly
5) Robert Downy Jr: Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, and uhhh, Ian from Weird Science. Read a recent article on him in Men's Fitness. Dude trains like a madman and has Jude Law and Don Cheadle as his sidekicks.
Ruling: Manly
6) Terrell Owens: Former NFL superstar. Prima donna whose "me" attitude hurt entire teams' performances. I think given recent lack of success that there is only one conclusion to draw.
Ruling: Not-manly.
7) MMA Fighters: So you definitely don't make it to the big leagues by eating burgers and ice cream. In any system where being light-weight is important you're not going to see a lot of guts. It's not like being skinny is an advantage, but who would you rather fight: the tubby guy who weighs as much as you or the guy who dropped 20lbs and 2 weight classes to fight you?
Ruling: Manly.
8) Justin Bieber: At this point, culturally aware people understand that yeah, his music is not good but he could show up to your house right now and get a date with your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, and/or grandma. And you would be okay with it... And Selena Gomez would be okay with it. Sorry. He wins.
Ruling: Manly.
9) Charlton Heston: I thought fer sure I'd find a picture of Moses rocking the 6 pack but NOPE. Back in the day, people didn't bother with the sixer unless they were Mr. Olympia. I think we can all agree that those were manlier times and 6 packs didn't exist on guys that were stranded on planets run by apes, as a slave rower on a Roman ship, or as a pyramid building slave of the Pharoah.
Ruling: Not-manly.
So there you have it. 6 verdicts for manly, 3 for not-manly. Getting 6 pack abs is manly.
-LSF
these pictures inspired me to rid of my breadbasket and trade it in for at least a 2pac, but i'm not trading my bieber boobs for nothin'!
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