My Heart Rate Monitor is a Big Fat Phony

The sensor in action.

There's a feature on my RS300X Heart Rate Monitor from Polar that allows you to see how many calories you've burned in a workout. In an effort to recalculate my basal metabolic rate after a 9lbs loss, I decided to be the psycho at the office who wears a heart rate monitor all.... day..... long.

This means readjusting the strap around my chest.
"Is that a bra dude?"
"I'm wearing a heart rate monitor."
"Okaaaay."

This means keeping the sensor wet by faucet to accurately find the heartrate.
"Is that pit sweat or are you lactating?"
"I'm wearing a heart rate monitor to calculate how many calories I burn in an average day. I have to keep it wet for it to work."
"Okaaaaay. Weeeirdooooo."

Not a look you want at the office.

This means keeping the heart sensors moist by licking a finger and moistening sensors when faucets are unavailable.
"Are you licking your thumb and rubbing your nipple?"
"I'm wearing a heart rate monitor to calculate how many calories I burn today to double check my basal metabolic rate. I'm calorie counting to get a six pack. The sensor's not picking up the signal cause it's not wet so I lick my thumb and put the saliva on the sensors."
"First off, you better put those Kellogg's Assorted Fruit Fruity Snacks down if you're going to get a six pack. Second, quick licking your nips in the middle of a meeting. FREEEEAK! You're fired!!"
Well that didn't really happen, but you can imagine what it would be like if it did. It was a telecon anyway.

Oh yeah, and the monitor said I burned 4322 calories that day. I went to the gym for 45 minutes. I trained like a freak but I'm not training for the Olympics, patrolling the mountains of Afghanistan, or swimming the English Channel. The equipment may be faulty. The RS300X is a big fat phony!

Keep training,
LSF


PS: That is one of my all time favorite Family Guy clips. Seth MacF constantly killed it in the first three seasons before Fox killed his show. Season 4 wasn't bad either. Nowadays, you'll probably get the exact same amount of laughs as the good old days, but it's spread across Family Guy, American Dad and the Cleveland Show. Just sucking up 90 minutes of your life for what used to take 30. Every single show jumps the shark at some point. If it hasn't, it'll be back. It's the circle of sitcoms.

PPS: My proof reader/editor is out of town this weekend getting her half marathon on in Miami this weekend so this is a finished product of yours truly alone. I apologize for any the typos.

Barefoot Running Baby Steps

Okay okay okay okay. This is the very last time I'll use the term "Techsnique". You win society, I'll conform. From now on, I'll call it forefoot striking, minimalist running, or barefoot running. I'm using all three as I take baby steps towards comfortable barefoot running. Here are the definitions of each type of running and the progress I'm making to build up for a respectably paced barefoot jog:.

-Forefoot Striking: What is this? Landing on the balls of the feet and bringing the entire foot down to meet the ground as weight increases on the foot and stride progresses. Similar to this pattern:

Forefoot striking: red first, yellow second, green final or not at all. (C) Pablo Picasso 2012

Personal Progress: I can run a medium pace (8min/mi) for 5 miles with a forefoot strike after 1 month of training. My calves are getting stronger and my overall 5 miler is faster than it's been in a long time. It could be cardiovascular related or muscular, not sure. I DO know that the increase in calf strength adds to the overall power. I wear Reebok ZigDynamics for this.

-Minimalist Running: Same form, different shoes, no arch support, extremely lightweight. I purchased some Brooks Pure Connects (neon green baby) to dive into this. These were made for forefoot striking. Where most running shoes have a  thicker sole at the heel, these are thicker at the forefoot, forcing you to stay forward on your foot. Walking in them feels awkward. Bonus feature: cleft toes. There is a minor notch between the big toe and uhhh, whatever you call the one next to it.

Personal Progress: I ran 4 miles in these ranging from 6-9 mph (10:00~6:20 min/mi) on a treadmill with a minute break between each to recharge my calves. It felt great. I was smoked. No injuries. Form was good and remained consistent. I'm also pretty sure I saw a calf vein. First ever. 

-Barefoot Running: This means actually taking your shoes off and hitting the road which is preferred over trails or beaches. If you're going to do this, make sure to build up everything first: sole skin, mental toughness, stronger foot muscles, tendons, bones, and ligaments. And keep your shoes and socks in your hands for gosh-sakes. Ain't no shame in bailing early on.

Personal Progress: I showed up for the New England Barefoot Runners Meetup a couple of weekends ago to meet some of the nicest people in New England. They meet weekly on Sundays on the Esplanade and have a great time running together like cavemen. Although I've missed the past two weeks I'm eager to attend again when I'm over the cold I'm dealing with.

I ran a barefoot mile with the group 2 weeks ago with no skeletal/muscular problems except some hot-spots on my feet. I need to work on how I land... too much toe curling. I ran half a mile on a run on my own in sub-freezing weather. My feet went slightly numb but the ground felt great as long as I kept moving. The feel of the ground on your bare feet is definitely one of the appeals of the technique. I stayed on main roads with good sidewalks and only had issues crossing streets where I had to focus on the ground instead of traffic. My third and most recent was on the back roads of my neighborhood which has not-so-great sidewalks. I spent a lot of time digging pebbles out of my feet. Yes, it hurt.

The most discouraging factor was pace. Even with an open path, I was only going at a 12 min pace. I takes patience and time. Since I'm focusing on 5ks, I'm wondering if this practice isn't more for people putting in serious mileage.

So the journey continues to improve form to prevent injury and improve pace. I'll keep you posted. It's time to start looking for upcoming 5ks. Any suggestions?

Keep training,
LSF

Don't be a Spaz on the Mat

It's a known fact in the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) community that if you're going to roll with a white belt, you're going to get sweatier than you should.

Me in an "achieve the mount" drill

Noobs (like myself) take a few months to realize that the translation of jiu jitsu (the gentle art) is genuine. Despite the intensity of getting choked or breaking a locked joint, you're not expected to expend THAT much energy. In fact, I haven't seen our instructor, a purple belt, break a sweat even when rolling with dudes twice HER size. Meanwhile, I've drenched my and half the class's gis because I'm spazzing out on the mat.

This happens because the new guy is compensating for lack of knowledge with strength and speed. Like any skill, it takes a while to learn what's important and what's not. What limbs and grips are important to hold and which aren't.

Me in an "escape side mount" drill.

Check out a couple of videos. The first is a white belt and blue belt (FF to :40) . Notice all the pulling, pushing, lifting and squeezing. The second is a match between two black belts (check out the calmest take-down attempt at ~:15, what was that? attempted ankle lock?). Notice it's more about rolling, twisting, and holding.

The use of athletic compensation comes across as too aggressive. While different gyms have different cultures, everyone at my gym is just there to chill and learn some new moves. Struggling as if it's a life or death situation just makes you look like an a-hole, like Mr. Rooney when he messed with Mr. Peterson. You don't make friends by being a spaz.

Mo' chilla than a gorilla.

So that's my first goal on my way to becoming a blue belt. Just chillin'.



Keep training,
LSF





PS: To whom it may concern, does the word "gis" look like a dirty word? If it does, refer to a past article where this blog cleared up the pronunciation and get your head out of the gutter. Or don't. Funny mental images.

6 Pack Strategy

Regular readers know that one of this year's projects is getting 6 pack abs. I like to avoid over-thinking things so the strategy is simple. In fact, Mad TV spelled it out in about 120 seconds. The strategy is called "Eat less, move more." Yes, it's just that simple. Let's make like an enzyme and break it down.

Overeating: Never an issue in hunter/gatherer cultures

Calories are a measurement of energy. Energy is delicious because our bodies evolved so that we would want to eat high energy things. All cavemen who did not enjoy eating fatty brontosaurus burgers died off from gathering rather than hunting and couldn't get dates with cavewomen.

Since the dawn of things like agriculture, refrigerators, and Cap'n Crunch, food has become a lot easier to come by. Where fatties were once found attractive because of their ability to survive during famines and presumably collect more resources in prosperous times, they are now seen as unhealthy and unattractive because of the many health issues that arise from overeating.

So yeah the "ELMM" strategy is simple, but it's not. We all know we should eat/drink less and exercise more but it's not easy. There are a number of factors that either keep us from eating healthier things or stops us from eating too many of those healthy things , but there is one that really stands out to me:

Discipline, or the lack thereof, it's easily my biggest fault and I'd wager the biggest problem among overweight people. I say things to myself like "I'll work it off later," or "How often does the Sam Adams Autumn Beer Collection come out?" or "How often does the Sam Adams Winter Beer Collection come out?" or even, "How often does the Harpoon Winter Beer Collection come out?" To combat this I'm doing a few things:

1) Calorie counting: I record everything on an Excel spreadsheet and at the end of the day, week, and month I sum it up. I get the number of calories in each food off the interwebz or Nutrion Facts panel if there are any.

To figure out how many calories I burn, I found my basal metabolic rate (BMR) and got a Polar heart rate monitor which tells me how many calories I shed in a workout based on heart rate, age, gender, and resting heart rate (which was like, 50). I used a few websites to calculate BMR and averaged them to about 2300 daily.

Seeing the math regularly is great motivation to eat the right foods. This also takes discipline but I'm better at doing things than NOT doing things (like not eating scrumptious foods). I can frequently see how close or far I am from my goal. Remember when we talked about setting measurable goals and approaching things rather than avoiding them?

283 calories lost that day, 339 from the mark

2) Grocery shopping: At least, increasing it and changing how I do it. 90% of my shopping is in the produce and deli sections. If the item in question comes in some sort of wrapper, box, or can, it's generally off limits. This also means I'm going out to eat less frequently which means avoiding high calorie meals. I hate going out and getting something healthy with few exceptions. The majority of the restaurants I go to have the permanent smell of beer soaked into the wood of the bar, seats, floor, and people. If you think I'm ordering something that will make my life longer, you're looney tunes.

3) Snacking: Eating snacks throughout the day is recommended to avoid hunger and increase metabolism. It curbs hunger throughout the day so I'm not that hungry going into meals. I'm eating a lot of fruit (10 points to the first person who comments with "You are what you eat.") which is tasty and low calorie. It also helps me avoid sugar cravings as it naturally contains fructose. I don't know why snacking increases metabolism but I guess it keeps the digestive system working throughout the day which means work, which means calories burned.

So that's the plan. I'll keep you updated on progress on another post coming soon. With the personal trainer test out of the way, there will be a lot more time for bestowing my wisdom on the blogosphere.

Keep training,
LSF

Test Results

Kaboom. Done. Need training? I got it. Belee dat.

Certification Test

The National Academy of Sports Medicine will be administering their certification exam this weekend. Time to study up. Go hard or go home. Git-R-Dun. Do it to it. Just do it.

Finish reading all text. Check.

Finish all workbook practice exercises. Check.

Finish watching all e-lecture lessons. Check.

Apply all lessons and practice doing exercises on own. Check.

Check NASM website for test contents and standards... Check.
Buckle down and study... Ongoing.

Score to pass: 70?! Psssssh.

Passing percent: 65% Say what?!

Is this actually going to be difficult? I'll let you know afterwards. You won't hear much between now and then.

Keep training,
LSF

6 Pack Abs, Only for Sallies?

It's time to get real about weight loss. I've done a superb job of eating and drinking pretty much whatever I want whenever I want and only and put on flab-weight with a couple of exceptions that lasted about 3 months altogether when I was legit fat. A great aspect of being a man is that people don't care that much about how fat men are unless it's totally out of control.

Anywho, up until this point, I'm so unaccustomed to dieting that when I count calories, I feel like what the former governor of California, Terminator, Detective John Kimble, Mr. Freeze, and Conan the Barbarian would all call a, "girlie man." I am aware of the irony of that statement. The 7 time Mr. Olympia once had a 6 pack of his own, so is it manly? Let's look at some of recent history's more famous 6 packs to gauge whether a chiseled stomach is manly or not:

1) Arnold Schwarzenegger: You've got all of the most important bio facts above.

Ruling: Manly.

2) Tyler Durden: (Spoiler alert) So Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) was Ed Norton's imaginary friend in Fight Club. Norton was bored with life and projected what he wanted to be onto his imaginary friend, Tyler. Tyler summarized by addressing Norton, "All the ways you wish you could be? That's me." To include a shredded 6 pack. Come to think of it though, there were no chicks allowed in Fight Club... not sure if that's manly or not. Probably not. Regardless...

Ruling: Manly.

3) 300: It is a well known historical fact that Sparta raised and trained some of the boldest, most skilled, and all around best fighters in history. It's also a lesser known fact that mentorship among older and younger Spartans often got a little weird. I can speculate all I want as to the manliness of the 300 at Thermopylae but Saturday Night Live has already authoritatively hit it with the stamp of FIERCE!!

Ruling: Not-manly.

4) Madonna: I wouldn't fight her.

Ruling: Manly

5) Robert Downy Jr: Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, and uhhh, Ian from Weird Science. Read a recent article on him in Men's Fitness. Dude trains like a madman and has Jude Law and Don Cheadle as his sidekicks.

Ruling: Manly

6) Terrell Owens: Former NFL superstar. Prima donna whose "me" attitude hurt entire teams' performances. I think given recent lack of success that there is only one conclusion to draw.

Ruling: Not-manly.

7) MMA Fighters: So you definitely don't make it to the big leagues by eating burgers and ice cream. In any system where being light-weight is important you're not going to see a lot of guts. It's not like being skinny is an advantage, but who would you rather fight: the tubby guy who weighs as much as you or the guy who dropped 20lbs and 2 weight classes to fight you?

Ruling: Manly.

8) Justin Bieber: At this point, culturally aware people understand that yeah, his music is not good but he could show up to your house right now and get a date with your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, and/or grandma. And you would be okay with it... And Selena Gomez would be okay with it. Sorry. He wins.

Ruling: Manly.

9) Charlton Heston: I thought fer sure I'd find a picture of Moses rocking the 6 pack but NOPE. Back in the day, people didn't bother with the sixer unless they were Mr. Olympia. I think we can all agree that those were manlier times and 6 packs didn't exist on guys that were stranded on planets run by apes, as a slave rower on a Roman ship, or as a pyramid building slave of the Pharoah.

Ruling: Not-manly.

So there you have it. 6 verdicts for manly, 3 for not-manly. Getting 6 pack abs is manly.

-LSF